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Mark McCaw ~ twitter's @bigpicguy

Author of "Insights Inside a Mind" ~ blogging the big picture

Saturday, 16 July 2011

Why We Shouldn't Talk About Gay Marriage

     There is a very good reason why we shouldn't talk about gay marriage. This is compelling, to say the least. In fact, I would say this is the definitive argument you should use when people bring this controversial subject up.

     The reason you shouldn't talk about gay marriage is because you have absolutely no right to stick your nose into the business of private individuals. What possible argument could you have against people who feel strongly enough about one another to want to make an exclusive, documented commitment. Whether it's a man and a woman, man and a man, woman and woman, or whatever combination works for those individual human beings is none of your business. It is their personal decision, and your opinion is not necessary.

     Homosexuals, like heterosexuals have been around forever. Because I am attracted to the opposite sex does not make me any more normal than my current or past friends and acquaintances that are attracted to the same sex, or even both sexes. Gays, lesbians, and bisexuals don't choose their primal attractions. It's not like picking a team in gym class, and if you think that's how it works you're incredibly ignorant. You aren't just part of the problem, you are the problem. You don't choose who you love, even if you think it is that simplistic. Maybe you should watch some nature shows and see how often same sex encounters happen across hundreds of species. The big difference is, the other animals are smarter than people, they realize this is a normal behaviour and don't attempt to be superior by shaming or attacking their own species for their sexual behaviour.

     Normal. Everyone is the judge of normal. People don't look in the mirror when they are alone and tell themselves they're totally screwed up and everyone else is normal. Unless one suffers from mental illness, the person in the mirror is the measuring stick we all use to judge how normal others are. People who do things we would never dream of, we see them as not being normal. We never think of the possibility someone else's behaviour, opposite our own, could be perfectly normal and we are the oddball because of our self serving desire to believe we are the model of normal. We reinforce this, consciously or subconsciously, by ensuring we surround ourselves with like-minded friends and acquaintances who have reactions and behaviours similar to our own, thereby enhancing the mentality we are the normal ones. But replace your hetero group with one of equal size and opposite sexual orientation and I will guarantee they are every bit as normal as you.

     I consider myself lucky to be interested in the psychological makeup of the human species. I confess to a huge interest in primal behaviour because it is what is the basis of being human really is. As primitive as any autonomous action we all engage in. All those behaviours we have no control over. Breathing. Heartbeat. Our fight or flight reflex in the face of danger, and a wide range of emotions including, but not limited to, anger, excitement, comfort, happiness, joy, pride, love, hate and sexual attraction. These are predetermined things we are born with, they are not learned behaviours, they're nature as opposed to nurture.

     You don't learn sexual attraction. There is no KKK of sexual deviants secretly training the next generation of gays. Gay and lesbian and bisexual and transgender people walk among us at all times. They transcend almost all occupations and every sector of society. Some are very successful and some are utter failures, they're human beings, whether they are one of your loved ones or someone else's loved one. What you desire to do in the privacy of your bedroom has no bearing on your dedication to make society better because you're a police officer. No one asks the firefighter saving their family who they sleep with. The nurse that grandma loved, the one who lovingly held her hand and comforted her when she slipped away, did it affect your life negatively if she went home to another woman? Whether you or anyone else disagree with the way other human beings live their lives, those people will still exist in the same numbers.

     Who are you to deny the right of people who love each other to try to live a happy life. They are not asking to hurt you in any way. They won't be going door to door in your neighbourhood to recruit your family into the gay lifestyle. Chances are, they'll get up and go to work, and on their days off they will do work around their home or get away for the weekend and unless you make it a point to either speculate or pry into your neighbour's lives, you'd have no idea whether they were married or not. You shouldn't care, it doesn't affect you just as your marital status/sexual orientation is of no importance to them.

     Unless you are having a same sex marriage, or attending the loving celebration of one, you have no personal interest in the situation. Let others live their lives with an equal right to be happy.

     We shouldn't talk about gay marriage. It shouldn't even be an issue. Marriage isn't between you and people who want to judge you, it's between you and the person you love.

     Stop hurting people.

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